Sabrina became a workaholic Hollywood agent, and Vince became a sort-of-DJ-slash-full-time party person. Or whatever.įor the next seven years they carried on a tumultuous on-again-off-again relationship. Because while your rebooted infatuation might give you temporary amnesia, your issues remain: He still donates to Ben Shapiro’s Patreon, and you still hate dogs. Is it because you’re secretly trying to get back with them? This, I would argue, is dangerous. Is it because you’re lonely and stuck, and want to pull your ex into your masochistic depression spiral, so that they can’t move on either? Maybe. Are you sleeping with your ex because you broke up amicably, are both happy, and think sex would be a fun way to reconnect? Lol, no. And though, at times, it may seem more appealing than railing your way through an infantry of drunk randoms, you can’t go in blind.Īt the very least, you should be honest with yourself about your motivations. Because the reality is, fucking an ex is never going to be uncomplicated. While I share Malcolm’s aversion to relationship “rules”-you know, wait three days to text him, no anal after Labor Day, et cetera-I do feel like having some boundaries in order to protect yourself from mental breakdown isn’t such a bad idea. “But maybe I’m just playing devil’s advocate.” It’s all part of the process.” He shrugged. And if it doesn’t feel good, you can just stop. You become a better, stronger person by putting yourself in danger. Sure, maybe it will turn out poorly, but then you’ve learnt something about yourself. There is no rule-whether you should or shouldn’t is just a trite question for a sex column-no offense. “So have you ever actually slept with an ex?” I asked. “It’s such a shame not to do something simply because you think it ‘won’t be good for you.’ It’s better to take the risk of it being great.” Malcolm is a 50-something literary editor who thinks he knows everything about everything. “Of course you should,” declared my friend Malcolm, over lunch in downtown L.A. And so I find myself back at the same old question: Should you ever sleep with your ex?
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